What if God’s love was the beginning, middle, and end point for our families?
There is a particular kind of memory planting that comes from spending two nights away from home with 30+ members of your extended family.
Ages 1 to 70. Eating meals and sleeping under the same roof (well, two connected roofs in our case), in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. And did I mention without a TV in sight?
Ever wake up to sweet, toddler-pajama-clad nieces and nephews running amok before 7 a.m.? You’re missing out if you haven’t had their syrup covered hand grab yours to go explore a little more.
It’s sleeping without your normal pillow, too much food, approximately 400 marshmallows, and conversations that somehow manage to be both meaningful and completely ridiculous.
Add roller skating, outdoor adventures, a few competitive personalities, and the logistics of gathering multiple generations, and you have what our family lovingly calls a retreat.
Although I’m proposing we rename it a family advance. After all, we’re not retreating from anything. Onward and upward!
And somehow, despite the chaos, we keep doing it. We even look forward to it. Even our growing teenagers.
Because somewhere between the cousin stories, shared meals, and inevitable family frustrations, something important is happening.
We’re building a family that is working to keep getting to know and love each other.
More Than a Weekend Away
My parents have always believed deeply in family connection. Gathering generations together has spiritual significance. It’s about faith, relationships, belonging, and creating opportunities for something deeper than our everyday interactions.
As their children have grown into adults, married, raised families, and developed our own perspectives on life, our family has changed. We don’t all believe exactly the same things. Our spiritual journeys look different. We have unique personalities, parenting styles, opinions, and our priorities aren’t identical. And that’s ok. Because God doesn’t ask us to model ourselves after people- He asks us to journey toward Jesus- the One who loves us perfectly and is perfect love.
And still, we gather. Because at the end of the day, we want to know and support one another, no matter what life brings.
Maybe that’s one of the most beautiful things about it.
We don’t have to agree on every doctrine or denomination to believe in the importance of each other.
We can share a table, tell stories, laugh, disagree, learn, and make room for one another. We can honor the traditions that shaped us while allowing each generation space to discover what matters most to them.
To me, that’s a pretty meaningful expression of love- the I Corinthians 13 kind.
The Cousins Are Growing Up. That’s Exactly Why This Matters.
One of my favorite parts of this year’s retreat at Sycamore Springs was watching the different groupings of cousins together. The littlest ones ran around, played in a real corn crib, and figured out they could score extra marshmallows by approaching different unsuspecting aunts and uncles for “just one more.”
They’re building memories without even realizing it. But then something happens.
They grow up.
Our “middle” cousins, who once played together on the floor, are becoming teenagers doing each other’s makeup and rollerblading at lightning speed. Baiting their own fishing hooks now… and they’ll still squeal and spend an afternoon catching dozens of frogs all named “Jimmy”—Jimmy, Jimmy 1, Jimmy 2, Jimmy 3, Jimmy 4—but by dinner they’re grilling another cousin about homecoming dates.
And our oldest kids? They’re building lives of their own.
Our oldest son is away at college in California. He wanted to come home for our family retreat, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. That really struck me. (And he knows it made his Nana pretty happy, too!)
He talks about how he wants to know his cousins, aunts, and uncles as he grows into adulthood- and be known by them.
Our oldest daughter is married now, and she and her husband couldn’t join us because they had a wedding on his side of the family. That’s another beautiful reality of growing families: our circles expand, our commitments multiply, and we make room for the people and traditions that matter to those we love.
The relationships that once happened naturally now require intention.
Someday, these cousins may celebrate weddings together, support one another through difficult seasons, and plan gatherings of their own.
But those relationships don’t happen by accident. They need shared experiences, stories, and time together beyond a quick conversation at Thanksgiving.
And sometimes they need a weekend of questionable roller-skating skills and entirely too many marshmallows.
Everyone Had a Hand in Making It Happen
One thing I appreciated most this year was how we shared the responsibility.Instead of expecting one person (Mom & Dad) or couple to carry the financial and logistical load, everyone chipped in. Each family prepared a meal and brought snacks to share.
No catered dinners. No elaborate menus. Just easy, kid-friendly meals and plenty of willing hands. (We’ve included our menu if you need a little inspiration!)
When everyone contributes, the work is lighter, the cost more manageable, and the gathering becomes something we create together rather than something one person provides. Of course, there’s still chaos. Meals, schedules, personalities, naps- and moments when everyone could probably use a little personal space.
But that’s family.
Connection Isn’t Always Picture-Perfect
Sometimes we romanticize family togetherness.
We imagine everyone sitting around a campfire, laughing at the same stories, sharing profound wisdom, and feeling completely connected. And sometimes that really does happen. We have a video to prove it! (see video at the end 😊)
Other times, someone is tired. The schedule goes sideways. Someone feels left out, and someone else needs some quiet.
Sometimes it’s playing peekaboo behind the couch or getting to comfort a niece after a bee sting. It’s figuring out meals around egg allergies and gluten restrictions, or realizing at the last minute that four kids, all their stuff, and an airport pickup simply aren’t fitting in one van- so you grab a second car and keep moving.
It’s not always easy or convenient. But maybe that’s part of what makes showing up mean something.
Family retreats don’t magically eliminate the complexities of family relationships. Sometimes spending extended time together makes them more obvious.
But maybe that’s part of the opportunity, too.
Belonging shouldn’t require everyone to experience togetherness the same way.
We practice patience, flexibility, generosity, and the art of not taking every little thing personally. We remember that loving people doesn’t mean always understanding them. Sometimes connection looks like a deep conversation. Sometimes it looks like cleaning up after dinner.
And sometimes it looks like laughing at my 30-something brother doing the “walking down the fake stairs” joke for approximately the twentieth time—and seeing what an amazing dad he has become.
A meaningful weekend doesn’t require every moment to be meaningful.
Just hanging out with our Grands- 23 and counting?
You Don’t Need a Retreat Center to Create a Retreat
Don’t wait until you can plan the perfect getaway to start building family traditions.
Maybe two nights away isn’t practical. Maybe your family lives far apart, schedules are complicated, or coordinating that many people sounds overwhelming.
Start smaller.
Have a cousin sleepover at Grandma’s. Plan an afternoon at a park where everyone brings a picnic. Invite grandparents to share childhood stories. Let the teenagers teach everyone a game. Have the little kids organize a talent show.
Or simply declare an afternoon when everyone puts their phones away and spends time together.
You don’t need a detailed agenda, expensive activities, or a picture-perfect location.
You need an invitation, some shared responsibility, and a willingness to show up.
The magic isn’t in the location. It’s in the memories that accumulate over time—the familiar stories, the inside jokes, the children who become adults and realize those gatherings were some of their favorite memories.
What We’re Really Passing Down
As I think about our family retreat (and future Family “Advances”), I realize the greatest gift my parents have given us isn’t a particular destination or tradition.
It’s the belief that relationships are worth investing in.
They’ve created opportunities for their children and grandchildren to know one another beyond holiday gatherings and text-message updates.
And while each generation may carry forward different beliefs, traditions, and perspectives, I hope we all carry forward that commitment to connection.
I hope our children grow up knowing that family can be a place where they’re welcomed, loved, and allowed to become who they are.
I hope the cousins continue choosing one another long after the adults stop organizing the weekends.
And I hope someday, when our grandchildren gather around a campfire, they’ll tell stories about the ridiculous things we did at Sycamore Springs.
Maybe they’ll even laugh about the roller skating.
Because ultimately, we’re not just planning a weekend.
We’re creating a history of showing up for one another.
One shared meal, one cousin story, one imperfect gathering, and one marshmallow at a time.
Connecting Generations with love- Sarah
Barclay family retreat 2026 - Sycamore Springs
P.S.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you.” — Romans 15:7
I love the simplicity of that idea.
Not always agree with one another. Not be exactly like one another.
Just accept one another—and let Perfect Love do the rest.
P.P.S. A shout-out to Kent and Molly and family for creating such a fantastical space to connect at Sycamore Springs White Tail Ranch! So many ways to get away from screens, enjoy nature, and simply enjoy each other.
