If you missed my story of waking up and knowing I needed to write my 77-year-old dad a tribute of honor before it was too late, click on this link to go to read it.
Overcoming the “Awkwardness Barrier”
If your family isn't typically expressive, writing and reading something so heartfelt can feel vulnerable, intimidating, or even awkward! Love will covers the awkwardness, and parents rarely care about polished prose; they’ll be touched about the consideration, care and heart behind your words.
The Purpose of a Tribute
Express Gratitude, Honor and Respect while your parents are still living.
No parent is perfect. If you’re a parent now, you probably realize how difficult it is to be “on” all the time. As a parent yourself, you hope someday that your kids will recognize your love and sacrifices, seeing that you truly tried your best.
Rather than saving those sentiments for a funeral or memorial, the goal of a parental tribute is to honor your mom or dad while they are still here. Unlike an obituary or memorial speech, a tribute is a “living gift”. It’s meant to be written for them to keep. It would be especially impactful if you would read directly to your parents while they are here to receive it. Make a special moment during a family gathering or a birthday, when it will feel special and they’ll feel celebrated.
A tribute isn't just a record of the past; it’s an active way to speak life into your relationship today. Taking this step can bring incredible healing, soften old barriers, and open up entirely new avenues of understanding, deep conversations, and connection with your parents while they’re still alive.
Focus on What They Did Right
In ancient Hebrew, the word for "honor" (kaved) literally means "to be heavy" or "weighty."
Instead of treating someone lightly or easily dismissing them, to honor them means to give their presence, voice, and guidance serious weight and substance in your life. It comes from the exact same root word as kavod, which means "glory."
This isn’t the time to air your disappointments, grievances, or criticisms. This is an intentional exercise in looking past faults to recognize sacrifices, character traits, and specific life lessons.
How To Write A Tribute
Pray First- Make peace with any hurts or unforgiveness you might have. Ask God to help you have insight and memories in which you can convey that you see and honor their love, instruction, care, and provisions they made for you. View your parents through a lens of grace, forgiveness, and appreciation for what they did right rather than focusing only on past faults.
Jot down special memories and qualities- Think of things that you’ve admired about your parents. Think about fun times, vacations, family traditions such as birthdays or Christmas. Remember the times they encouraged or comforted you, or times your parents showed strength and sacrifice.
Think about what made your mom or dad unique- perhaps it’s their humor, kindness, unconditional love, or maybe how they could create family fun, patience, Christian faith, work ethic or their work ethic, or practical life skills. Then think about how their influence helped shape you as a person.
Life lessons: Write down specific guidance, discipline, or values they passed on to you.
Sacrifices: Acknowledge the hard work, financial sacrifices, or emotional support they invested in your upbringing.
Suggested Outline for Your Tribute
Don’t hesitate to make it uniquely yours…..
Introduction: Share the purpose of the letter and express why you want to honor them right now.
Specific Stories: Recount tangible memories, joyful celebrations and moments through the difficult times. Share stories that reveal their lasting impact on the person you’ve become.
Expression of Gratitude: Thank them for specific things they taught you or modeled for you.
Conclusion: End with a blessing, a statement of love, or a forward-looking hope for your relationship.
Building a Legacy In Your Family Tree
When you take the time to honor your parents, you’re doing something profound for your entire family tree. You’re showing your own children and grandchildren what it looks like to cherish the ones who came before you! Someday, your children will look back at how you treated your mom and dad. Let them see you give flowers while they can still smell them. Write the tribute, speak the words, and set a powerful example of a family anchored in love, grace, and enduring honor.
Connecting Generations ~ Creating Eternal Legacy- Cindy