Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Deut. 5:16
Dad was a big believer in living life to the fullest! “You Only Live Once” and thumbs up all is awesome.
Sometimes we wait until after someone has died and regret and wish we had told them how much we loved and appreciated them. This was true in my life when my mom, Joyce, lost her battle with cancer and entered heaven when I was 23. I know Mom knew I loved her, but it was almost impossible to emotionally express everything I wanted to tell her because I was hoping for a miracle, not a goodbye.
Life rolled along as it is known to do, and in 2004, I had an "aha!" moment after listening to Dennis and Barbara Rainey on their Family Life radio show. They urged children to write a tribute to honor their parents while they were still alive. This struck a deep chord. My dad was turning 77 and had just been declared cancer-free from colon cancer.
Inspired by their teaching, and rooted in the principle of honoring parents as outlined in the Ten Commandments, I began writing a tribute for him called "An Unlikely Hero" (see below). The core message of a parental tribute is simple yet urgent: we need to honor our parents with our words before it’s too late, rather than saving those sentiments for a funeral or memorial.
I can’t express how thankful I am I took the time to write it- not just tell him. When he turned 77, I gave it to him, and my dad printed two copies, framed it alongside a picture of the two of us, and actually carried the extra printed copy to share with all his friends or anyone who would take the time to read it. I couldn’t believe how much those simple, heartfelt words meant to him and how many times he mentioned it. He said so many of his friends would tear up and say they wish their children would do the same for them. Our family was so honored to have Dad move in with us and be an integral part of our family some years later after we moved to Kansas. He was a joy to share life with, and we take comfort in knowing he passed away peacefully at home at the age of 95, surrounded by family.
Charles Herbert Benedict- November 10, 2021 “Well done good and faithful servant.”
Our words have the power to bless or curse- encourage or discourage- lift up or tear down. What a privilege to speak life and love to those we love. If you’re blessed enough to have your parents still living, prayerfully consider giving them a blessing they’ll treasure for the rest of their life.
Our last generational family picture with Dad- center stage, thumbs up and full of life!
Below is the simple tribute I wrote my dad.
An Unlikely Hero
In these days, there’s a lot of talk about what makes a hero. After September 11th, people seem to be realizing that true heroes don’t have super-powers like Superman or Spiderman. Neither are they necessarily “bigger than life” personalities like John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. Rather, they are simple, ordinary people. They live hidden away, living everyday life, found in common places; not really standing out from the crowds around them Their names will never be in “lights”, they won't be asked for their autograph. However, when life throws “these heroes” difficulties and challenges, they draw from the well of their character and exhibit courage, dedication, strength, and fortitude. Honor, commitment, and perseverance are not lofty ideals to them. They are realities ingrained so deeply in their thinking they can’t imagine reacting any other way.
I wish you could have the privilege of meeting one of these heroes. Chuck Benedict is my seventy-seven year old father. Born in the depression era and serving our country in World War II, I believe my dad exemplifies what is best about his generation. Dad still believes that a job worth doing is worth doing well. He clings to the belief that a man's word is his bond. He still hangs on to everything because it would be wasteful to throw it away and "you never know when you might need it someday." He honors God, family, and country and would lay down His life to protect and defend them.
Dad graduated from high school 4 months early to enter the Army Air Corp. He was top turret gunner on a B-24
Dad is a hard worker. I don't remember my dad being sick and missing work except one time. I was so worried he would die, because I'd never seen Daddy stay home and go to bed. My mom assured me he would survive. He’s always worked hard and I observed that working seemed very satisfying to be productive. When I was little, he was there to help with homework, cheer me on to do my best, and make me feel the special wonder of being his little girl. I was so proud when "MY Dad made reindeer antlers for all nine reindeer and Rudolph's glowing red nose for the first grade Christmas play.
Dad is so easy to talk to because he really listens. I felt like I could ask him anything- and I often did. When I was little, it was questions like, “Why is the sky blue?” As I grew older it was questions about boys and dating. He gave me confidence to be myself, respect myself, and set high goals for my future. I tried to excel at whatever I did because I wanted my parents to be proud of me. Yet, I never felt their love was conditional. Even when I know I disappointed them I felt secure in their commitment and love for me.
Dad loved giving hugs, kisses, and thumb up!
Dad is a storyteller. I love hearing him talk about the "old days." Wisdom tempered with humor make his stories fun to listen to. He jokes that his mother said the reason all the Benedicts talked so much was because they were vaccinated with a "phonograph needle"! I am always amazed at how many people my dad knows. Maybe from being in the gas station business for years, or growing up and living in the same geographical area, but most probably from his outgoing, friendly personality that says, "I've never met a stranger." We benefited from his friendliness. I was proud when people asked, "are you Chuck Benedict's daughter?"
Dad is full of optimism and practicality. "Do your best." "It doesn't hurt to want." and "life isn't fair." were some of the adages he passed on to me. He is full of unconditional love and love that goes the second mile. Even though life has handed him a lot of lemons, he has made lemonade. His faith may have been tested but he has stood strong and been an example to me of what true faith in God is. It is not believing God will make your life a bed of roses if you just pray and believe. True faith is believing God will get you through what ever life throws you and safely guide you to the end of your days, securing a home in heaven where there will no longer be sorrow, sadness, trials, or tears.
Dad and I dancing at the KU Bob Dole Center Celebration for Veterans.
I’m so thankful and privileged to have you, Dad, for my father. God was so good to bless me with parents who chose and adopted me, giving me the best family anyone could ever ask for. I love you Dad and I am so proud to be your daughter.
You are my hero. ~Cindy
Connecting and Loving the Generations- Cindy
Please share this post to friends and family whose parents are still living! I’ll be adding a free resource this week with more information on HOW TO honor your parents with a living tribute. Stay tuned.