Crowned in Love: Bethany’s Journey~ Part 1
He redeems your life from the pit, He crowns you with love and compassion… Psalm 104:4 NIV
We recently returned from Chicago from a journey I never ever dreamed about. Last October, Bethany was crowned as Kansas Miss Amazing (Miss Division). A whirlwind of events, propelled us into the world of an unbelievably unique pageant. But before I tell you about everything amazing and wonderful that happened at the National Miss Amazing Pageant— let me go back to the beginning. Bethany’s journey began in an unlikely way. Let me tell you a bit about her very first crown.
When I was 39, our 5 year old daughter, Moriah, came up to me and grabbed my cheeks with a big smile, looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Mommy! Mommy! I’m so excited. God told me He’s going to send me a baby sister.”
I smiled and said, “That’s sweet Moriah, but Mommy’s too old to have any more children. I don’t think that’s in His plan.”
Very seriously she replied, “No, Mommy, you don’t understand. I can see my baby sister in your eyes.”
I smiled, gave her a hug and answered, “You’re my baby girl.”
For a fleeting moment, I had wistful thoughts about another baby, but shook it off as we were quite content and happy with our family size; our oldest was 18 and our youngest was 5.
Three months later, the unmistakable signs of morning sickness made a grand appearace! Wait- what? What had Moriah heard and seen???
The whole family quickly got excited about the new little Barclay that was going to join us the following summer. Moriah had “seen” a little sister for her and I just knew it would be a little girl. July 23rd, Bethany Anne Barclay was welcomed with laughter, joy, and love. Our midwife was somewhat subdued after the birth and suggested we should take her in for her wellness check the next day. I thought it was an odd comment at the time, but found out she had a strong suspicion that Bethany had Down syndrome.
We went unsuspectingly to our doctor the next day. I waited for her to say how beautiful Bethany was and congratulate us, but instead she bluntly asked, “How old are you, Cindy?”
“What??? Why is she asking me that???”
Without any preamble, she stated, “We need to get genetic testing done today. I believe your baby has down syndrome.”
Talk about a gut punch.
I didn’t see that one coming. You know when you’re pregnant, people always ask, “Do you want a boy or a girl?” And we’d always answer, “We don’t care. We just want them to be healthy.”
The genetic testing came back 10 days later as positive for down syndrome. I’ll admit, the diagnosis shook us. We didn’t know what Bethany’s future (or ours) would look like or what it would mean for our family. The literature the state gave us was full of discouraging statistics that made it feel like people with disabilities were “lesser than”. But God!
Bethany was a gift from God I never knew I wanted or needed in my life! #surprisingtreasure
I was driven to research- to understand. I began to realize how fortunate Bethany was to be born in the year 2000. Just 40 years earlier, parents of children with disabilities were often told they should institutionalize their child—that they couldn’t learn or function in society. It makes me sick to think how wrong we were back then.
When I was in school, I never saw anyone with a physical or intellectual disability. I didn’t even realize they were all bussed to a separate school—one that did little to truly educate them. What a loss for my generation and the ones before us: not knowing, seeing, or including all of God’s children.
The Lord quickly showed us- and continues to show us- Bethany’s innate God-given value. Her given name- Bethany Anne- means “house” “filled with God’s grace”. That is who she is.
A diagnosis is just a description—it’s not an identity. While the world relies on labels to classify people, God never defines us by a medical term. He defines us by His love, calling us His own creation, made in His image and claimed by Him.
God created each of us in His image, fearfully and wonderfully made. Though sin and a fallen world brought brokenness and physical limitations to human life, Jesus came to redeem and restore what was broken. Down syndrome is a physical condition in a temporary world, but Bethany’s eternal identity is a redeemed child of God.
That’s where Psalm 103:4 came alive for me.
When we first heard the diagnosis, we felt like we were thrown into a pit. We couldn’t change the label or control the outcome and we weren’t sure how to move forward. It was overwhelming to say the least.
But God! He is the Waymaker and He plucked us out out of that pit and put us on the Rock. AND He goes way beyond taking us out of the pits of life- He then CROWNS us with His everlasting love and compassion! We didn’t fully understand it at the time, but I believe, the Lord crowned Bethany and our whole family at the time, with His love and compassion.
It was Bethany’s very first crown. But it hasn’t been her last. Our God talks about spiritual crowns throughout our journey on this side of heaven.
Jesus came to bring hope to the brokenhearted and discouraged, quoting Isaiah 61 as His mission:
I will give them a crown of beauty instead of ashes. I will give them the oil of joy instead of sorrow, and a spirit of praise instead of a spirit of no hope. Then they will be called oaks of righteousness of God, planted by the Lord, that He may be glorified. Is. 61:3
We had no idea how God would unfold that promise over the next 26 years, leading all the way to a bright stage in Chicago! Long before any pageant crown was placed on her head, the Lord was already weaving beauty out of ashes—crowning Bethany’s life with His unseen love and eternal purposes in her life would be on full display.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where I share the unforgettable story of Bethany’s journey to the National Miss Amazing Summit in Chicago!