It’s Never Too Late: Finding Family Wholeness (Part 3)

The Bible tells us to build our “house” on the Rock- Jesus is that Rock and sure foundation.

If you’re just catching up on our journey, welcome to the tribe! We are diving deep into what it truly takes to restore what's broken and build a family legacy meant to last. Before you dive into today's remodel, make sure to read Part 1 and Part 2- to see how we got here.

Is it only Bethany and I that love home makover shows? Some of our favorites are Home Town, with Ben and Erin Napier or Fixer to Fabulous with Dave and Jenny Marrs. They walk into a crumbling, dated house, knock down some walls, fix a foundation or two, paint and redocrate and completely transform a dump into a dream house in under an hour.

"In a world obsessed with instant results and “magic makeovers”, we’ve forgotten that a family legacy isn't built in a tidy, highly edited hour.”

The fantasy is the 'instant makeover.' The reality is home renovation is a messy business, and sometimes we have to give attention to the 'invisible' things—like the foundation, the electric, or the plumbing. Oh, how I hate spending time and money on the invisible problems.

But the reality is just as true in our spiritual lives. The Bible reminds us that Jesus is our only sure foundation. If we don’t anchor our homes on the Rock of His truth, the hidden weaknesses will eventually catch up to us. I learned what it actually takes to build something meant to last from two very different family construction projects..."

Dad and I celebrating a job well done.

Measure Twice, Cut Once: Lessons from My Dad

I learned the true reality of remodeling from my dad. Always ready to help, he actually installed and renovated or installed our kitchen cabinets in two different family homes. When he lived with us in Lawrence, he took our plain homemade cabinets and redesigned them to look like vintage cabinets.

Now, my daddy was a man who believed in doing things right. He didn't rush, he didn't cut corners, and his ultimate motto was: "Measure twice, cut once." While I loved the results, I was increasingly agitated as I began keeping track of how long it was taking. I kept thinking, “PLEASE, just hurry up- I want my kitchen back.”

Family renovation demands the very same patient approach. It forces us to slow down, clarify the vision, count the cost, prepare a plan and then, methodically, “work the plan”. Back then, my only focus was wanting my kitchen back.

But building a lasting family legacy requires a “long view”. We can't rush it. We have to pause, measure our hearts, align our lives with God's Word, and remember that building something meant to last for generations always takes a plan, a purpose, and time.

Josh and Amanda- children” Titus, Thea (Cynthia) Vivienne, and Sully (Sullivan)

Jeff and I teamed up Josh and Amanda, (our son and daughter-in-love) by investing in two different houses to flip. Since they have flipped houses before, they are mentoring us through the process. We bought the house “as is” to get the best price, but left enough room in the contingency fund that would hopefully cover “surprise” expenses.

After finalizing our list of improvements and locking down the budget, we couldn't wait to get started. But turning the water back on gave us a massive shocker. The house had sat through the cold winter with no heat, and the pipes had frozen and burst. Suddenly, water was spraying and leaking everywhere.

All our design plans came to a screeching halt. No one wants to spend contingency money on the invisible but necessary repairs. The entire plumbing system had to be ripped out and redone from scratch.

This wasn’t a planned event. It set us back—both financially and our timeline. It was a frustrating, messy disaster. Yet, it was absolutely essential to the ultimate condition and resale of the house. It had to be fixed. Once the hard work of the repair were over, relief and thankfulness washed over us. The major infrastructure of the home was up to code and we could safely move forward.

As frustrating as it was to watch our budget shift and our timeline stretch, we could also see a spiritual parallel.

In our families, we sometimes do the exact same thing. We pour our time, money, and energy into the "cosmetics"—the surface details everyone else can see—because dealing with the invisible stuff behind the walls is hard, messy, and expensive. We try to put a fresh coat of paint over old hurts, hoping no one notices the cracks or faulty infrastructure.

But then a trial hits. A crisis comes out of nowhere, the pressure mounts, and the "spiritual plumbing" in our home completely bursts.

It feels like an absolute disaster in the moment. It disrupts our lives and breaks our hearts. But when those unforeseen, invisible problems surface in our family relationships, we don't have to face them alone.

Our Spiritual Contractor is just a prayer away to guide us through the mess. If hidden, broken plumbing is exposed, it’s not to shame us, but as an incredible gift of mercy. He doesn't want us living in a home hollowed out by a toxic, secret leak behind the drywall. Instead, He steps in to help us safely peel back the surface facades so He can restore what is broken in our “spiritual house”.

Rebuilding for the Generations

When I look back at my dad meticulously measuring those kitchen cabinets, and then look at the messy, frozen pipes that had to be ripped out with Josh and Amanda, I see a bigger picture of ways God can work to restore a family.

Wholeness in a family comes through a real renovation of the heart.

God, our faithful Contractor, gently opens the walls and heals the hidden spaces we’ve tried to cover or repair on our own. And once that foundation is made new and He recenters us on the Rock, we can step forward with quiet confidence—shaping our days around the truth of His Word.

We can't rush the heavy foundation work, and we can't rush the slow craft of shaping the final details. Both take time, both cost us something, and both are absolutely essential if we want a home that can withstand the storms of life.

The spiritual house built on the Rock is the house where legacy stands- a home that will weather the tests of time and remain steadfast throughout generations.

Building and Rebuilding for the Generations,  Cindy

I created a FREE download that summarizes this three part series, which highlights actionable steps for you building your family. It’s Never Too Late- Hop over to our Famly Resource Page, Scroll down and find the “Family and Wholeness Reflection Guide, and Download it for FREE.