The Gift and Calling of a Parent Never Ends
Click here if you missed part 1- The Gift and Calling of Parenting
From God’s foundational family blessing in Genesis to "be fruitful and multiply," to Job urgently interceding for his grown children, to the patriarchs laying hands on their sons to speak blessings over them; Scripture paints a vivid picture of lifelong parenting. Throughout the Bible, parents remain actively involved in their adult children’s lives through prayer, encouragement, shelter, wisdom, and continual blessing.
Our Western culture tells parents to step back and let go once the nest is empty, but God’s design calls us to step up and stay connected. While the role of parenting naturally shifts and adapts with every season of life, your calling of parenthood never ends. You were called and anointed as a parent the moment God entrusted you with that precious life. Nowhere do we see that calling end. As Psalm 127 reminds us, children are God’s reward and we’re called to love and walk alongside our children through every chapter of life.
One of my favorite verses I say and pray over our children and family is found in 3 John 1:4. Our joy is to know we have committed them to His care and they belong to Him. Hallelujah!
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
At every age- in every stage- parenting is a privilege, a challenge and a joy.
WAYS OUR ADULT CHILDREN STILL NEED US AS PARENTS
Our adult kids need a living model of lifelong faith, not a lecture. As we navigate aging, caregiving, and major life shifts, we have a unique chance to show them what a vibrant walk with Jesus looks like. By living with humility, joy, and continual growth as fellow sojourners, we encourage them to keep trusting God in their own journeys.
Our children (and their family) need our prayers first and foremost. This feels like my lifetime calling now. (There’s 37 in our immediate family!) There are limits to what parents can do for our children but there are NO LIMITS to what and how we can pray for them! Last Christmas, I asked our daughter Moriah, to take pics of everyone in our family and make me a little scrapbook/prayer book so I could use it as my visual prayer book. I did this because I get distracted when I pray! But I’ve found, when I’m looking at their picture I stay better focused, then the love and prayers just flow.
We never give up praying for our children- it’s the most powerful way to parent our adult children!!!
Speaking of love: It’s not just our grandchildren that need to hear us say how much we love them! Our adult children need to hear their mom and dad continue to verbally bless them with our love. (you can’t say “I love you” too many times!!!) It’s a need we never outgrow, no matter how old we become! I’m 67 and I know my parents loved me, but I’d give anything to hear my mom or dad say words of love and affirmation to me just one more time!
Again, it’s natural to snuggle and cuddle our grands, but I miss those days with my children. Our adult children still need our physical touch and hugs. Yes, they have their own spouse and children to hug them but mom and dad you have a special hug. You were their first hugger and snuggler! Don’t let the awkwardness of age steal those precious moments. Those adults were your babies!!!! Remember, you kissed their boo-boos and held them on your lap. Those “babies” are still in there somewhere, hug them tightly!! My dad was a good role model for this because he was affectionate to our entire family all of his life. I get misty-eyed remembering dad’s “energy” hugs or how he’d take my hand when we were walking.
No one can take the place of a loving mom or dad! Thumbs up was my dad’s signature move!
Even though our kids are adults, they need our encouragement! Remember, they’re “adulting” now just like you are. It’s not easy! Think about what might encourage them: a meal, a coffee, a favorite snack, a quick note? I like to text an encouraging scripture or song, or call them and just chat and tell them how awesome I think they are and how great they’re managing everything. Staying connected without putting a lot of time pressure on them is key.
I’m in the parent “prayer and support role” not the parent “fix it” role. This has been one’s the biggest shifts for me! I need to respect they’re an adult. I want to be a safe space where they can be honest and tell me hard things. I want them to know I can quietly listen to their heart and give them space to say what they’re feeling. This is hard because my mother’s heart still wants to swoop in and wipe away difficulties. I remind myself this is an essential part of everyone’s journey to mature as we get older. We all need to learn how to turn to and trust in our Heavenly Father first and rely on others second.
Our adult children need to regularly hear our bigger family stories and understand their unique place in our shared history. Remind them of who we are, why we belong to each other, and how deeply we are connected. Growing up, our core motto was simple yet foundational: "The best thing we ever gave you was siblings. Friends may come and go, but you’ll have your siblings your whole life." Our family rules were, “Defend, Protect, Respect, and Honor.” Retelling stories and reminding them the little things that made our our family unique and why our family sticks together and loves each other, is part of our ongoing job as the lead parents of the tribe.
Never too young or too old to know they are loved, treasured, and that they belong.
Our adult kids need our support in hard times; maybe physical, financial, spiritual, or emotional. Prayer is always our best first step especially when our adult child is married! It’s so hard to hold back an opinion or unsolicited advice! Wait for the invitation. Until then, offer support and encouragement letting them know we are there if they need us. We honor both partners and show we believe in the strength of their marriage when we simply ask: “We love you both. Is there any way we can help or support you right now?”
Just like God gave us our children as a gift. He gave us to our children also as a gift. Our adult children need us- throughout their whole life! Don’t check out and think your job is done! Shift and continue on in love and wisdom as their parent and everything that entails. Become their Friend, Mentor, and Encourager! Actively cheer them on, lead by example, pray with them and for them, and support them when needed. They need to know they’re loved and treasured for the reward they are!
Nostalgia looks back, but LOVE STAYS PRESENT.
It can be so easy to get caught up in nostalgia for the days when our kids were little or to feel sad because the house is empty. But nostalgia shouldn’t steal the JOY of today! So while I love remembering those “wonder years” of raising our children, that’s not where I stay. My heart chooses to embrace today and look forward.
We haven’t lost our children. They’re still here. Instead of looking back with sadness, we can choose to enjoy them on their journey- with their family. Every day is a fresh opportunity to invest in who they are becoming, nurture an ongoing friendship, and build a relationship that flourishes through every stage of life.
At the end of the day, our heart’s desire is to see our children thriving in their faith, their marriages, and their own journeys—while remaining deeply connected to the family tribes they grew up in. Shifting from "fixer" to "prayer warrior and supporter" doesn't mean stepping back from their lives; it means building relationships of mutual respect that makes them want to stay close and keep coming home. By honoring the adults they’ve become, we pave the way for a rich, lifelong bond that carries on for generations.
For the Lord is good and His Love endures forever. His faithfulness continues through ALL generations. Pslam 100:5
I’d love to hear how you’ve transitioned to parenting your adult children! What’s something you do to nurture those relationships once they’ve left home?
Next up: Loving Adult Children Through Differences….